


tear in the system

by tigerbox



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4343786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerbox/pseuds/tigerbox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>joshua has a lot to prove after he leaves seventeen. jeonghan has no choice but to watch in silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tear in the system

He's sitting on a makeshift stool backstage when Jeonghan finds him, fumbling with one hand to open a box of bandages, other hand firmly possesed around her; "Sky", his glory baby guitar. Joshua struggles to open the box's clasp, straining his index fingernail alongside the lid until he finds an ajar opening. When he does get the clasp to open, it opens with a loud pop and he falls off the stool in alarm and Sky goes with him, tumbling aside on to the tile below. Jeonghan scrambles over, helping Sky first in a completely reactionary way, then Joshua second.

"There you are," Jeonghan says keeping a tight hold on Joshua's elbow when Joshua eyes his guitar with hunger.

"How is she?"

"Fine," Jeonghan says, handing Sky over. Miraculously, none of the strings have broken and there is not a new dent to be seen. Still, Joshua scales the guitar back over and over, intimately skirting his hand over the body wary of any damage, ignoring the unpleasant sensation of his new blisters forming.

Jeonghan takes over immediately, controlling the situation like it is his home, wordlessly cleaning up the box of spilt medical aids, placing them neatly on the counter and taking out the bottle of antiseptic and a few of the smaller band aids.

"She's fine, I said. But look at you." He snatches Sky out of Joshua's hands before Joshua can protest and ignores the fury stemming from his eyes. Jeonghan turns Joshua's palms into his own, almost carelessly pouring the antiseptic on them, resisting Joshua's attempt to tug away at the virulent stinging.

"Shit," Joshua says, biting his lips and then feigning ignorance, thinking Jeonghan wouldn't know what he said anyway. Jeonghan pretends to be ignorant back, fully knowing that's what Joshua wants, the new Joshua anyway. Jeonghan tries to be more tender placing the band-aids around the swollen and bumpy calluses irritated on Joshua's fingers, slowly lifting his fingers up and bringing them close to his mouth, ever so gently blowing on them in a cool matter. Joshua tosses his head to the side, refusing to care, childishly flinching his eyes in protest. It doesn't matter how mature he's gotten, he's always going to act like an adolescent in pain.

"I missed like three chords on the final number. I suck." Joshua finally breaks the silence as Jeonghan carefully puts the last band-aid around Joshua's right pinky, exactly where his silver seventeen ring used to sit. Jeonghan admires the bareness of the finger for a second before covering it up, convinced there is a slight tan line from where the ring used to be, a proud reminder.

"You were good. You shouldn't have agreed to play under such a condition. Your fingers haven't healed yet."

"Thanks for coming. You were the only one by the way."

"Did you invite the others?"

"No."

"They'd have shown up if you did, you know."

Joshua shrugs, as if he doesn't care that Jeonghan is right. Again. Jeonghan looks around the room and sighs. Everything was different now. The sanctity of backstage. If this had been like before, there would have been a million people milling around them, stylists, make-up artists, production teams, hairstylists, assistants, eleven other teammates. Now it was only the two of them and Joshua's manager, crumpled in the only dingy chair in the room, sleeping under a puddle of black winter coats, too cheap to pay for the heater to stay on. Sky stares at them ominously from the middle of the room where he put her down earlier, her strings glistening like glitter from the abysmal light source hanging listlessly on the ceiling.

"You were great," Jeonghan reassures Joshua after a moment, taking Joshua's hands into his own again, this time treading carefully around the fresh wounds, lightly playing with them in his hold. Joshua doesn't react much, but doesn't pull back either, and he gulps down his breath anxious over nothing.

"I've got a couple of gigs lined up overseas. Nothing major but-"

"You don't have to do this, Jisoo. You can always come back. We're here for you."

"I'm not a quitter. Not this time." Joshua takes his hands back, shoving them into his pockets where the bruises can't be seen.

"Let us help you. Me."

"I've got to do this for myself. I've got something to prove." There's a slight tinge of fire igniting in Joshua's eyes when he says it, lined with regret. Jeonghan recognizes it so well. As if he knows, Joshua turns to the side, pretending to be occupied by something new on his cellphone. it's Jeonghan's designated cue to leave, but all he can see is how skinny Joshua's gotten, his lean frame listlessly tiny looking in the meek room. Jeonghan makes a mental note to send Joshua some food in the mail, wondering just how quickly Joshua would throw it away upon receiving it.

"Can I at least buy you a new guitar? In case you need a back up for Sky."

"Sky's fine. She's perfect. It's me who's the problem, Jeonghan." Joshua looks up for a minute, peering at Jeonghan with a definitive coldness. For the first time in a while Jeonghan is unable to read him. He leaves the room in defeat, the dull shine of Sky's black matte corpse jeering at his loss from behind.

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing for 17 and it turned out so angst ridden? idek tbh ;; lol they are so fluffy in general


End file.
